Thursday, February 9, 2017

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?


On the morning of January 4th, 2017, as I was reflecting on the overwhelming displays of conflict that I had observed or had experienced, the Holy Spirit intervened. He began a work of reforming my perspective and attitude since I found myself growing increasingly discouraged due to what I had seen and gone through. As I witnessed the ugliness of humanity displayed through the news as well as social media and how similar aspects of ugliness had exposed itself in me, it was quite a heart-breaking realization. The Spirit opened the eyes of my heart to consider what now gives rise to compassion and hope in the place of frustration and despair. This change of heart began with two questions:
Why do we respond in such hostile ways toward others and our circumstances?

Why do Christians respond in the same ways, despite the contradictory nature of such practices and what scripture calls us to?
I've had to think about these questions a lot because I have been asked them in different ways. I've had to address the questions and concerns of non-Christian friends as well as those who are new to the Christian faith as they try to process the chaos around them. Why is everyone fighting? Why are people talking and acting so irrationally? Why are many who identify themselves as Christians acting just like the rest of the world? The conclusion I’ve come to leads us to examine our understanding of identity.
How we answer the question: “who am I?” in our hearts, determines so much. The identity we hold to guides what we value, what we despise and what we deem is an acceptable response in different situations. All of us construct identities often based on titles and categories we have been given or ascribe to ourselves. For example, my identity could easily be something like: Christian, husband, father, pastor, conservative, millennial, white, heterosexual, middle-class, American, male.
If we consider these things as the essential to who we are, then anytime we think they or the beliefs associated with them are being challenged, it feels like we’re being personally attacked. That's why we have in many ways lost the ability to engage in peaceful, civil discourse in our culture. At the core it's an identity issue. Despite our desire or at least professed value of “tolerance”, we don’t actually tolerate differences in opinion because we often cannot separate ourselves from the issues being discussed. Now, that’s very difficult because we so naturally integrate such things into our sense of person-hood, believing they give us significance, security and satisfaction in life. Due to how natural it is for us to do this, it is subtle, but destructive in our society and in inter-personal relationships.
Therefore, it is a common perspective that those who disagree with us are assumed to be against us. Such people are immediately demonized in some way either publicly or internally in our hearts and minds. As a result, we typically assume the worst possible conclusions in relation to those people shun them. If we refer to any person or group as "those people" it is a clear sign that we have separated them from ourselves, probably in a way that views them as inferior to us.Then we typically become islands of perspective who tend to only socialize with those who are just like us, creating a population littered with schisms and utterly segregated racially, politically, economically, generationally, etc.

In order to confront the reality that these same tendencies are occurring in the lives of those who proclaim Jesus as their Lord, I first want to establish that such a thing is contradictory. Christ has called us to be advocates and examples of what it means to bear with one another in love, in order to maintain peace, especially among fellow Christians (Ephesians 4:1-3). Now, hear me, such contradictory behaviors do not compromise the legitimacy of Christ and the truth He proclaims. When the followers of Christ fail to perfectly manifest the calling of Christ it just reveals the imperfection of Jesus’ followers, but does not mean the truth or perfection of Christ is corrupt. The reason why we as Christians can unfortunately fall into the traumatic trends that have gripped our nation is because deep down, we still hold to the same forms of identity that the rest of the world does. Sure, we might add the title of "Christian" to our list of identifiers, but it functions more like a bumper sticker on a car, with little transformative influence on certain aspects of our lives. However, the Bible tells us that trusting in Christ as our Lord and Savior completely transforms who we are, how we should view ourselves and how we relate to everyone else. In turn, that should transform the way we act, speak and respond in our world.
To sum it all up: the problems our society faces stem from an identity crisis. We either cling to identities that inevitably put us in conflict with others, or as Christians, we don't truly understand or live according to who we are in Christ.
“Okay, that's the problem, but what's the solution?” said the imaginary audience member in this blog.
Great question! I will begin to try and faithfully answer that in the next blog.
But for now, regardless of your political or spiritual views, I want to encourage you to individually work through four questions.
1) Who are you?
2) What about your identity do you feel has been challenged or attacked recently?
3) How has that affected you emotionally?
4) How have you reacted to those challenges?
By working through these questions we can begin to understand how this issue of identity causes so much of the hurt, hate and conflict that we have experienced and understand how we have perhaps caused or contributed to such things in the lives of others. This is a vital first step in our pursuit of social peace. We must swim against the currents that are carrying us toward increasing division as peers, families, churches and as a nation. So, take this first step with me, please.

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