God's Helpful Purpose For Marriage

Genesis 2:18-25

¹⁸ Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” ¹⁹ Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. ²¹ So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. ²² And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ²³ Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

From my teenage years and into young adulthood, I was on a passionate search to find “The One”. Every time I found myself attracted to a young woman I’d contemplate “is she the one? Could she be my soul-mate?”  Finding true love was a pursuit I committed myself to.  During that romantic chase I wrestled with all kinds of questions: What characteristics should I be looking for in a woman? How do I know if she’s the one? And so on. My goal was to find Mrs. Right, get married and live happily ever after. I know there are many who perhaps can relate to that or maybe that even describes where you are in life right now. Regardless, I want to share something that completely changed my perspective of what makes someone an ideal match for someone else and what the goal of marriage is.

While I was in college I remember talking to my older sister. I was at place where I was dealing with a lot of regret and wrestling with the questions of what I should be looking for in a woman as my calling in life toward vocational ministry was becoming clearer. I can’t say that I remember everything she said verbatim, but I remember she told me how she was praying for me.

She told me that she prayed that, if it was God’s will, He would provide a bride who would make me better at what I’m called to do in ways that I couldn’t be without her.  My sister’s ultimate goal for me wasn’t just for me to find a wife, but that I would fulfill God’s calling for my life.  That priority of desire was pretty revolutionary for me. My sister’s wise words helped to realize that I was ultimately placing my pursuit of a wife at a higher priority than faithfully pursuing God and what He was calling me to do.

For those of us who are Christians, who right now are passionately seeking for “the one”, we need to honestly examine ourselves. Are we seeking for a companion more than we are seeking God Himself and His will for our lives? Beyond that, my sister’s words were the first part of changing my perspective of marriage to be more biblical.  I started looking at passages of scripture relating to marriage like Genesis 2:18-25 in a new light. I began to see a purpose God had intended for marriage that I wasn’t aware of before.  Marriage was intended to help us accomplish the calling God has for each of us.  God created Eve to be a suitable “helper” or “help-mate” for Adam.

Notice, up until that point, Adam was just doing the work that God told Him to do. In Adam’s case, it was being the official caretaker of the Garden of Eden. God knew that, in order for Adam to carry out his calling in life, he was going to need someone to complement him. Someone who would support him and ultimately be a vessel of God’s encouragement, accountability and strength to fully equip Adam for the task God had given him. Someone who would make Adam better at what he was called to do in ways he otherwise would never be.

Typically, in our pursuit of romance or true love we are seeking a “soul-mate”. Someone who we think will ultimately fulfill the void in our hearts for intimacy, companionship, and love. Someone who will satisfy our core needs. So, we view marriage as being primarily about our satisfaction or happiness. That’s not what’s presented here. The ultimate purpose of marriage fits with the vision God has established for all of creation: to accomplish His will and glorify His Name. 

Marriage is one way that God equips us for the good works He’s prepared for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Marriage is meant to help with the work of glorifying God and sanctifying or making us holy, which are two main objectives of the Christian life. Getting married was never meant to be our main focus, or our source of ultimate fulfillment. Nope, that spot is reserved for God Himself. When we align our priorities with that and understand God’s helpful purpose for marriage, is serves us in a number of ways.

1) It keeps our eyes on the ultimate prize: God Himself.

2)It prevents us from placing unrealistic expectations on our spouses

3) It pushes us to pursue God first and foremost, trusting that He will provide a spouse for us when having a “helper” is necessary for us to do the work God has for us.

I believe that God’s provision of a spouse and direction in life for those of us still searching for “the one” flows right out of His promise in Matthew 6:33:

³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

If we focus on the Kingdom work God has for us, as the need arises, in His perfect timing, God will provide. Our task is to seek first God’s kingdom and righteousness.

God: The Means and The End

For reasons beyond my understanding, my daughter Thea loves the ceiling fan in our kitchen. My daughter is aware that in order for her to get closer to the fan and be able to pull the chains, she requires some assistance. So, a common practice of Thea’s is to approach me, express that she wants to be held through a tug at my pants or by reaching up and grunting, but she has an agenda. First impressions would seem like she wants to be closer to “Dada”, but as she begins to look away from me and lean toward the fan it becomes clear that I was not what she was seeking after. In those moments I am merely the means to her desired end.  I am but a living, breathing elevator to her wanted destination.  One day as I was reflecting on this curious and reoccurring event, I was hit with the notion that it can serve as a spiritual analogy.

I think that if we are honest, we can be like my daughter in our interactions with God. We  draw close to him only when there’s something we want from him.  I know that it’s an unfortunate trend among those who identify as Christians. We tend to treat The Lord as the means to a desired end, instead of seeking God Himself.

We might only pray when asking for deliverance from trouble. Maybe we only go to Jesus for salvation from judgment. We may serve God only so that he’ll bless us in kind with health, finances, success etc. We function as God’s employees instead of as His children. We do things to collect a “paycheck”, instead of living in loving response to God's love toward us.

The crazy thing is, we end up only depriving ourselves of what we truly need when we do that. Despite how entertaining the fan may be to my daughter, these things cannot offer her the provision, protection and love that I offer her as her father. Of course anything I can offer her is only by God’s grace, but hopefully you get my point. This same concept is true of us. If we are treating God as a stepping stone to some other thing we ultimately want, we actually deprive ourselves from the true blessings God offers in Himself.

Isaiah 55:1-2

“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food.”

This passage and many others in scripture tell us that God Himself is the ultimate source of fulfillment. Anything other than Him can’t truly provide what our souls long for. We need to understand and trust that He’s not just the means to a different end; He is the means and the ultimate end. In Him we find our hope, peace, purpose, salvation, satisfaction, and everything else that we truly need. The more our hearts are set on God Himself, the more we will actually be satisfied.

Psalm 37:4

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Heart, Mind and Revelation

Going into this past Sunday at Journey, knowing we were going to be addressing the topic of discerning truth, I felt inspired one night to write a poem. Writing poetry has greatly helped me process and express the things I've learned or wrestled with throughout my life, especially since I started following Jesus. I hope that you will find this poem beneficial in some way as well. The poem is entitled "Heart, Mind and Revelation".

The heart and the mind

Two parts of us, meant to coincide

But it’s the times when they seem to divide

That reveal a subtle danger

Consider the rise of emotions

As a story touches us with empathetic notions

Calling to our longings or experience through narrative

Taking the back door of the mind, so it seems imperative

Heart-strings plucked and what we feel

Can shape our beliefs of what's true and real

So, the heart thwarts the mind’s discerning

As the flames of emotion begin their burning

Because it feels good in the embers’ light

Therefore, we think, our hearts must be right

That, my friends, I call mental mutiny

And it’s all too common for you and me

Beware the heart’s manipulation

We must thoughtfully fight for our emancipation

For we are otherwise slaves to futile thinking

If the wine of emotion is what our minds are drinking

We can so easily slip from wisdom and truth

If we let what we feel, take the wheel and rule

Our hearts must be anchored to the Word of God

Because every other “truth” is a cheap facade

Sometimes lies contain parts of the truth

That’s Satan’s tactic, which is so often used

So I urge my friends, to guard your souls

With the Lord’s revelation, through scripture, as a whole

Now, I want to address the needs of our hearts

There’s deep wounds and shame that tear us apart

We need comfort and hope, our soul’s are longing

For love, peace, answers, and a sense of belonging

Where can we find that? There are countless theories

But only one can truly give rest to us weary

His name is Jesus, and that’s not a cliché

He is the One and only way

To be rescued from wrath, delivered from sin

Revived, transformed and restored within

Our adoption as children of God is through Him

Trusting in Jesus is where soul-satisfaction begins

It’s the love of the Father, the encouragement of Christ

And the help of the Spirit that gives us true life

We need to receive Him, this God, three-in-one

In the fullness of the Father, the Spirit and the Son

Not as man attempts to mold him our way

‘Cause He is the potter, He’s not the clay

But His glory, through Scripture, is on display

And He’s all that we need each and every day

Teaching Truth and Confronting Error

Teaching Truth and Confronting Error

(Steve Matson)

This weekend, the movie The Shack is being released and a controversy that was debated 10 years ago is once again a hot topic of discussion.  There are Christians that love The Shack and there are those who have accused it of teaching heresy. I plan to wade into this debate in the sermon on March 12^th.  For now, I simply want to raise the importance of engaging in such a debate by noting the importance of truth and a pastor’s role in defending and advancing truth within a local church.

The church has always needed to guard against false teaching and false teachers, and one of the roles that I have as a pastor is to confront theological error.  This is a significant calling and responsibility as our faith is built on and advances on a correct understanding of the truth. When a pastor refuses to correct error he minimizes the importance of truth, may confuse the members of the church, and puts at jeopardy the testimony of the church. But sometimes when a pastor confronts error he is accused of being divisive or focusing on things that are not that important.  But, I believe that those who make such accusations fail to understand why pastors must confront error regardless of public opinion. John Calvin once said, “A dog barks when his master is attacked. I would be a coward if I saw that God’s truth is attacked and yet would remain silent.” Defending truth and confronting error has long been understood to be a primary responsibility of a pastor. Here are three reasons why pastors must confront error.

1- Confronting error is biblical.

Pastors are to instruct in sound doctrine and to confront error.

hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. (Titus 1:9 ESV)

The Bible is clear that it is the job of the pastor to protect his congregation from error by confronting error when it appears.

2- Confronting error offers protection to church members.

Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood. I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them. (Acts 20:28-30 ESV)

3- Confronting error provides an opportunity to teach true doctrine.

When error is confronted, the pastor then also has the opportunity to teach truth. The reason so many people are led astray is because of a lack of doctrinal teaching. Refusing to confront error promotes doctrinal ignorance.  Addressing error is also a pursuit of a better and clearer understanding of the truth.

Closing Thoughts

Doctrinal error is dangerous. In fact, more than just dangerous, it can be contagious. It must be dealt with. When a pastor is truly committed to the truth of God’s Word, he will be willing to confront error.