Monday, February 20, 2017

The Parable Child and the Illusion of Independence

For those of you who do not know, I have a one year old daughter named Thea. Since she was born, the Lord has used her over and over again to show me things. To give me pictures of spiritual lessons that connect to Biblical truths, which God brings to my mind. I want to share with you the most recent occurrence of this.

To give a little background, Thea just started walking this past month, and in just a few weeks, she has gotten to the point where she takes what looks like drunken laps around our baby-gated kitchen and living room area.  At the start she would always rely on us to help her stand, or even to take a few steps, but now that she’s getting the hang of it, it seems like we’ve been demoted to just eating her dust. Sometimes when I’d try to go over and help her up she would recite one of the few words that she’s picked up, “No!”. With a furrowed brow, a frantic wave of an arm and that cursed two letter word, she would reject my assistance. And each time she’d do that, I saw how much more difficult it was for her.

One morning while I was in the kitchen fixing her bottle, she fell right next to me.  I looked, moved closer to her and she reached up toward me. I gave her my arm, helped her up and she proceeded with her morning stroll.  It was in that moment that the Lord seemed to say, “do you see the resemblance?” Mind you, I’ve never heard God speak to me in an audible voice, but sometimes the messages I feel from the Holy Spirit are just as clear as if they were spoken. In response, all I could do was consider how my daughter was a parable for my spiritual walk with Jesus.

At the beginning, everything was so new, and Jesus was so incredible to me that I wanted to hold on to him and take every step of my day with Him.  I’d fall into sin or get hit by difficult circumstances, but I knew He was so close that I could just reach up and he’d set me back on my feet.  As time goes on, the honey-moon phase wears off, the old lingering pride and the culture of self-sufficiency works its toxic influence.  It leads me to think I got this down. I know what to do, where to go, what to avoid, what words to say, how to play the part of a Christian, and even a leader among Christians. Just taking laps, drunk on my ego and the lies of the world that tell me I got it all under control. Meanwhile, I slowly and subtly forget my desperate inadequacy and need for God. Until, BAM! I fall flat on my face and the first thing I see when I look up is Jesus, looking at me and lovingly drawing near. Although He has every reason to be angry or disappointed, He just picks me up and doesn’t just set me on my feet, He says, “let me carry you”.

I was reminded that It’s only once I acknowledge my insufficiency that I am able. It’s only when I recognize my weakness that I find true strength.  I could fake it, sure; trying to do things on my own, even fool some folks into thinking I got it all together. But such an endeavor always ends the same way, on all-fours after colliding with the linoleum floors of life.

As human beings and especially I think, as Americans, our independence and self-sufficiency is such an idol. We have to prove that we don’t need anybody, whether we feel the need to prove it to the world around us, or just ourselves. We feel this burden to show that we can do it by our own strength and will-power, thinking that will give us a sense of sustainable self-worth. But, one failure, one manifestation of our inadequacy and all that comes crashing down. We culturally hate the idea of dependence, especially once we reach adulthood. So, when we come head to head with a passage of scripture like John 15:5, our souls tend to wince as we read:

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

What?! Apart from God, we can do nothing? Some might say that such a worldview is just using Jesus as a crutch or religiously justified laziness. I will admit, Jesus is my crutch. But I also confess that my spiritual legs are broken. We all need a crutch, no, more than that, we all need a stretcher. I know that may seem offensive to some of you, but once you’ve experienced what it is to be carried through life by Jesus, you’ll understand. And let me clarify, it’s not some trip down a lazy river. It’s hard, but with each step I must acknowledge it’s the power of God willing my legs to move. Breath after breath, it’s God who makes it happen by His grace.  Every moment of every day that I live is empowered, sustained and orchestrated by God. And even though that takes a major shot to my ego, I’ve never felt freedom like what I found when I realized it wasn’t up to me.  When I finally submitted to the reality that I can’t do it alone, the burden of proving myself was lifted off my soul. Now, I witness the power of God working in, through and around me. It’s incredible as I get to see miracles, some big, some small every day (at least when I’m paying attention).


So, you see not only is our idea of independence an illusion, because whether we like it or not, nobody even breathes unless God allows it; but our dependence on God Himself is actually the key to true freedom and our ultimate potential.

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